While driving to the mall today, the girls and I passed a church that was advertising a "FREE FAIR!!!" today. Bounce houses, balloons, colorful tents, happy people called to us from the roadside, as Eden called to me from the backseat: MOMMY, CAN WE DO THAT????
We were meeting a friend, so I said we'd see if it worked out after the mall. I mentioned it to aforementioned friend, who perked up at the idea of a free event for the kiddos. So after our mall outing, we headed for some fresh air and giant inflatables. We brushed off the kids' requests for ice cream at the mall, promising them treats at "The Fair."
Pulling into the church, it was apparent that this event was a Big Deal. A Successful Event. Parking was scarce, a 15-minute ordeal. There were people everywhere. We made our way to the main entrance, passing signs reading "Free fair!"
Happy greeters met us, wielding clipboards and yellow "Gift Registration" forms. I tried to escape, but they were running a pretty solid zone defense. "What's this information for?" I innocently asked, knowing full well that I'd be receiving at least a phone call from this eager congregation. I left off my phone number, and also took care to leave blank the "special needs" section - which I was informed was not for me to write "vegetarian" or something, but actually a place where I could write something down and someone would pray for it. Not that I'm not standing in the need of prayer, but I didn't appreciate their sneaky tactics. I wanted them to know I was onto them.
"God Bless Yous" followed us to the next table, where we handed in our "gift registration" forms and were handed drink tickets. You couldn't get your drink tickets until you handed in your form.
Now, between us and the entrance was another team of blue-shirted folks, again with clipboards and yellow forms. This was for us to register the kids. Again, address, phone numbers, kids names & ages - for security purposes. Here, I admired their efforts, but they still only got a first name and a bright yellow empty form.
We were - at last! - allowed through a very tiny entrance way and headed for the next gate but were thwarted by people shouting happily: "Wait, you have to get your bag!" The kids can now see the bounce houses through the thin orange fencing. An Office Depot bag with some blue tear-off tickets inside is not enough to distract them. My friend and I grab the bags (I think they had a pencil inside, too) and try to dash inside the "kidzone."
"You have to watch the show first," the man says.
"The Show" was going on behind the bag table, and it was not age appropriate for our just-4-year-olds. There was a lady with a muffled microphone, some youth group kids dressed strangely, and some stories about getting washed clean by Jesus. At one point, I'd heard the word "stupid," which just isn't one that is said in our house.
"No," we answered. "Our kids are too young for that."
"Just for a little while," he said. "I can't let you in until you've watched some of the show."
I think what came out of my mouth next was, "This is too much work...let's go." It's really, really not what I wanted to say.
I wanted to say: Free! It's FREE! If it's FREE, then cut the strings! This isn't free, this is eating up my time. This is the opposite of free. You are LYING to people, trying to trick them into hearing about Jesus. Not cool. And I am one of you. I really, really want people to hear about Jesus. But do we have to hold them hostage? Maybe if we just really offer them free stuff, and trust Jesus to grab onto their hearts, we don't have to trap them inside orange fencing like dumb sheep! Maybe if we make ourselves so attractive as a community of people who love and serve each other, we'll just naturally grow the kingdom.
Instead of having a really nice experience, where I could have said, "Hey, Eden, that was a really nice group of people who love Jesus that let you play on their bounce houses today," I spent about an hour doing damage control. Explaining why they wouldn't let us in to use their stuff, and that we would get ice cream at home. Thanks for that.
**disclaimer: I believe this church put this event on with the purest of intentions and out of a desire to see people come to know Jesus. But if it produced this reaction in me...who understands what they're doing...then I say again: Tell me again why they don't like us?
Posted by: Amy
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