The Draining American Life

Posted by: John Thompson

Now don't get me wrong on the title. I'm as much a Patriot as Jason Bourne, but, I get tired of being drained every day and thinking, "What in the world did I do today to fulfill the Great Commission, or to play a part in the kingdom of God?" If the Chinese invaded Alaska, I might be the first to sign up to go fight, because at least then my "American" life would not be draining. At least then I could feel like Joshua or David and memorize all their cries unto the Lord for protection and the crushing of my enemies so that I would feel like I'm doing something. Granted I might die in the first battle, but, so did that guy on the front line in Braveheart right after he heard William Wallace say, "All men die, only some ever truly live."

Instead I woke up the other morning and just felt "stuck." I felt like God was trying to teach me all of these things and I had to learn them better than I've ever learned anything in a formal class. Yet it was all so overwhelming because I don't have time to meditate on it. I have to go to work. When I'm not working I'm trying to find another job or calling. I feel obligated to go here or there, or socialize and develop community with believers, etc. And then at the end of day (there's that phrase again for you ESPN fans), I feel like I have not heard enough from God.

I'm not sure I even know how to hear from God, because when I sit in silence and focus on HIM, my mind wanders or I fall asleep, or I just start writing crazy entries like these.

I woke up the other morning and wrote this down for release...

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So much to absorb... Not enough Sponge Action

I feel as though this week God has put in front of me a lot of things to absorb, but, I feel overwhelmed and unable to absorb them. Its not anyone's fault really (other than perhaps the capitalist man), but, I just long to absorb it all and I hate getting interrupted when I'm trying to absorb it.

I'm not sure how pastors read several books at the same time. How is that possible? Now I am reading every morning out of a devotions book, reading another book, and I have heard a couple of sermons that struck me. I think I'm doing ok on absorbing the devotions (mainly they just keep me sane because I wake up all yancy and anxious), and the book I'm reading is one of those build up story like things, so its not something heavy that I feel that I need to take a bunch of notes on.

Its the sermons though that are lingering in my head. One I took notes, on, One I tried to journal on the next morning (as I didn't expect to be there), but, my journaling time ran out because I had to go to work. How can there be so much to absorb and learn, and yet our American society has forced us to spend less time on these things?

I long to be in a small community where its not completely "wilderness" like, but, there would be enough time to do these things (and possibly the internet so I could still type and save notes/journals/entries, etc. because I hate paper). Then when I was finished, I could go eat with my brothers and sisters (who could all cook way better than me). Then after that, who knows, maybe there is a town down the road that we could actually have a ministry in. At this point I wouldn't care if it was cleaning toilets, just something (something equaling meaningful)... we could get shirts that say CTFJ and no one would know what it means but us (Cleaning toilets for Jesus).

Am I crazy? Am I like John the Baptist, without the Baptist and words of wisdom? So does that mean I'm eating locusts without listening to God? My head hurts. My shoulder hurts. I need a chiropractor. I really NEED a spiritual chiropractor...
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A woman told me the other day, "You are the most emotional guy I've ever met." Gee thanks. I guess that means I never got my man card, or maybe I lost it along the way. Did a secret society called EME (Emasculating Men Everywhere) steal away my man card and make me emotional?

Seriously though, I realize my man card comes from God.

And how about this guy?

http://www.justadesertboy.com/

The guy literally travels through the desert on foot without much food and water. He sleeps in the middle of the desert by himself, gets bitten by scorpions, snakes, and gets shot through the heart- yet God has protected him and used him to plant 73 churches.

I just wish he would call us out of this draining life I hear and see so many of us living. Give us a door to walk through God, or maybe a locked one and point it out to us so that we can kick it open.

Comments

[Just Matt]

I love this man. I often feel "trapped" by corporate America. Actually I feel a little bit like Hommie D. Clown - where the man is trying to hold me down : )

I long for time to study - exercise my mind. But "life gets in the way" When did life become 9-5 anyways? Why don't we have siestas? Rambling here just to say that I am with you. Let me know if you find that door. I'll help you kick it down!

[Vanessa]

Please pay more homage to Homie...the man is brilliant.